mello's Blog

I was able to see my legs in a different light (literally) today and I realized, I'm not what I used to see in the mirror. I see me for me today. WHOA!

My legs were always my worst hated feature. Today, I feel like I could wear a short skirt. :) Although I'm wearing a rather long one....

Anyways, this is a good thing. Maybe I'll get myself a cute bikini!

I'm beginning to miss my freind. Yes, singular. Out of all the people I could miss I really only miss one.

I don't want to go into the whole deal... I just can't wait to see her again.

We have a friendship that is sustained regardless of communication. Only one thing could get in the way and that is the case currently but someday that block will be out of the way and we'll be just as we were. I'm sure we've both changed. I just hope there is not any lingering resentment or trust issues on her part.

I wonder if they've started the baby process yet? So many questions I can't wait to ask her!!!

It's amazing how differences can be brushed aside once you dig deeper. The more you get to know someone the more similar they are to you. :)

If you can't get along then you just don't know someone well enough.

I heard this on Sunday. Reworded slightly.

"If you are having trouble with someone list ten positive things about them or 10 things you like about them. If you can't think of 10 things you don't know that person well enough. If you can list ten positive things, focus on those things and let love cover over the rest."

The answer is a resounding no.

I hope I don't get caught, unready.

I've done everything and nothing today.

I have lists of people to call and things to do but I haven't done them yet. *sigh*

I have reorganization to tackle and end of the year finalizing. I have people to call who have over charged us...

I have reports and spreadsheets to create/produce.

I have heaps of payables to process.

Yet all day I sit here and blankly stare at the screen.

WAKE UP BRAIN!!!!!

Monday... Yuck.

This really is a yucky Monday. I feel terrible. I was hoping to go home early, but that was dashed to bits. :( My ever absent co-worker came in dressed much nicer than is her usual attire. We had our greetings and she seemed just fine. Unconcerned that she was 30 minutes late, but not acting as if she were sick or in any sort of pain. She left a few hours later, claiming she needed to lay down. I would believe her if she didn't take 2.5 hour lunches every day, wasn't lying to the state about her husbands residence, and wasn't lying to her husband about seeing another man.

This woman only dresses up if there's a reason. She doesn't do it "just because." Hopefully she went on a job interview. My interviewing someone put the fear in her. Yet, instead of doing better here she's taking an alternate, and stupid, route.

Why does this concern me? Because I can't get time off to take care of myself if she's running about all the time. I was hoping to get 1/2 the day off to get my neck and back sorted and to get my dress fitted for alterations.

Looks like I'll have to wait... again.

The other gal is in a pissy mood.... Not to mention she's completely useless to me and wants to have idle chit chat about her grandaughter and tree decorating... yes thats nice... I have a migraine so plese don't talk.

I'm in a pissy mood. I don't feel good. I don't have time.

Is Monday over yet?

Eighteen days? Oh my!!!

Tuxedos to pick out and rent, hairstyle to choose, rings to aquire, rooms to rent, cupcakes to bake, frosting to make, music to line up, oh dear...

18 days...

Bleep blop bloop bleep blop bloop. Roll around in circles bleep blop bloop.

The first minute is talking so let it load and skip past the first minute. It's worth it. Promise. :)

Okay... So I don't want to be in jail.... But this would be fun regardless!!!

Dear Mr. Cloud,

I hope I am not imposing. If I may I would like to make a request. This is quite difficult for me as I don't often make requests. I never expect to get what I want and am always pleased with what I get. In fact, when asked what I want it takes the one asking quite some time to get an answer out of me. When the do get an answer it is preceded with "I don't need it, it would be nice to have, but I don't need it." Like I said, I never expect anything.

I am finaly asking for something because I feel this is the one time where I might just deserve getting something that I want. If that is arrogant please excuse me. You see, as a little girl I never dreamed of having a fancy wedding as some little girls do. I never really put any thought into it until I was in my late teens. Even then I didn't focus on how I would look or how I wanted everything, I thought of all the people I wanted to share the day with. Unfortunately none of those people are going to be there. Not even the undetermined family of the groom. Not even my own family. That really was the most important part, to me. Sharing this wonderful day with those who have known me my entire life. I am fortunate to have some very good friends there. However, I won't be dancing with my father to the song "Wild World" by Cat Stevens. I won't have my mother to help me put my dress on. I won't have my grandmother and my 20+ cousins.

The only time we get to be a family is during a wedding or funeral. Only one out of my 20+ cousins has gotten married yet, so that leaves the next funeral because no one will be at my wedding. We don't do the holiday thing. Weddings and anniversaries are where we direct our celebratory feelings! It is the time for exchanging gifts and spending time with your loved ones. This has been my way of life for as long as I have lived except not this time.... not for me.

So Mr. Cloud, could I ask you a favor? May I please, please, please, have a white wedding? Could you make it sonw for me, please? That would make me oh so happy. Just a little snow... That's all I ask. Enough to cover the ground. Enough to make the morning feel beautiful and special.

Please?

My humble regards,

Melissa

The Raconteurs "Old Enough"

I hate this weekend. Seriously. The 31st of October is my #1 most hated day. I hate it. I hate it I hate it.

What I hate most is being alone on the 31st. I've never been completely alone on this day ever in my entire life and I'm scared to death. Even last year when I spent the evening on EP my roommates were home.

I'm hoping I won't notice...

I miss Blue.